Deathiquette VI : They’re Not in a Better Place

They’re not in a better place.

How do you know? You don’t. Even if you do know, how horrible is it to suggest that being away from loved ones is a better place? If you have nothing but platitudes, just… zip it. Everyone wants to say something that will make someone feel better. There’s nothing. Americans are terrible at acknowledging that. We have to put a shiny gloss on everything, and attempts to do this during the worst time of someone’s life is when that attempt is the most putrid. It’s ok to say…

“This fucking sucks.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Do you need anything?”
“I never liked her anyway.”*

And then bring soup. That’s it.

*Friend group contingent. Your mileage may vary.

Deathiquette V.


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