Mansplaining – Exhibit A

I have only myself to blame.

I should have swapped out the battery weeks ago. But, you know, things are busy, my mechanic has been focused on the dirtbag challenge, and the trickle charger has been (mostly) fine. Besides, I normally bicycle to work.

So I rode to the dirtbag today. Delight! I went to Support My Man, you know, like you do. His gas tank would get him about 15 miles, and he needed a jump whenever we stopped. We were quite a pair, but we knew we’d be around a bunch of gearheads and, hey, we have jumper cables.

So, I see Luke off, go about my day (did I mention my awesome new church job?) while he goes on the Dirtbag-only ride, come home, pull my bike off the trickle charger, and go and meet Luke in the city with a whole ton of other crazies. We have a delightful day, we see some stunning rolling art, we catch up with friends. We get ready to go and, unsurprisingly, neither of our bikes start. I open my trunk (yet another point for the 929 RR – you can put heels in the trunk!), pull out the jumpers and start asking around.

Two very sweet girls on Harleys stop. “I don’t know how to do it, but you can use my battery!” “Thank you so much!” Luke and I decide to jump mine first – the minute his is running, we have to leave; he can’t waste the gas idling. So. We take the bike-sized jumper cables, and try. No dice.

Insert Dude No One Knows, “helping”.

“Did you try to bump-start it?”

Me : “No. It won’t work.”

We try again, this time with the girl’s bike running (to jump a bike, in order – bump-starting, then off a bike that’s off, then off a running bike, then off a stopped car, then off a car with a running engine. If it doesn’t jump off a car with the engine on, you tow.).

DNOK : “Is it the starter?”

Me : “No, I need a new battery.”

DNOK’s : “Did you try bumping it in third gear?”

Me : “No. That just makes me all sweaty and doesn’t get my bike started. I need a new battery.”

DNOK : “Are you sure you don’t need a new starter?”

[try with the bike on]

Me : “Ok, it’s not working this way. We’re going to need to try someone with a car. Thanks so much, though!”

Harley Girl : “No problem, have a good day!”

DNOK : “Do you have a rope?”

Me : “You’re adorable. Hey, is someone coming with a car?”


This whole time, Luke’s bike is right there, he’s getting it ready for a jump, and DNOK doesn’t even go anywhere near Luke, nor make any suggestions to Luke. Guy doesn’t stop making asinine suggestions while ignoring me until Luke says “It’s fuel-injected, so it needs a lot more juice to get started.”

It was not until a man stepped in and talked to this guy that I was listened to. Ben and Luke witnessed the whole thing, to the point that Ben was standing behind me, rolling his eyes at the dude and making throat-slicing gestures at him to try to get him to stop talking.


Finally, the bike got a jump – AFTER we switched to car cables, and jumped it… off of a running car (last resort). And made it home – I led my husband and best guy friend in the lane-split through game traffic until we got to Treasure Island.


3 thoughts on “Mansplaining – Exhibit A

  1. from this, I gather the dude had a starter he wanted to sell? It’s the only explanation for his fixation on replacing a starter since the bike won’t start. It’s like “I have this weird rash” “OMG I BET YOU NEED OPEN HEART SURGERY.”
    What was the rope for? Please don’t say “towing.” It would be too much for me to bear.

    • Hahahah. I have *no idea*. I didn’t even want to entertain why he might have been thinking about a rope. Maybe to tow behind a car to get it fast enough for a bump? If I hadn’t been so terrified he’d drop it, I’d have offered to let him try to bump it, just to watch.

      Did I mention the half-face helmet with the ear covers so that he was yelling the whole time and every response had to be repeated?

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